Fly On The Wall
by robert3A-SN
Summary: Jeff seeks to finally prove he's no good for Annie by asking her out and then standing her up. He even lets Abed film him at his apartment for one last documentary on the big day, since he's too much of a fly on the wall to do anything else. Complete.
1. Act 1

**This second consecutive multi-chapter fic of mine was planned and written before "Pillows and Blankets" and "Virtual Systems Analysis" aired. Yet I had no choice but to incorporate events and developments from those episodes later – especially after "Systems Analysis." So this is not just wish-fulfillment in the aftermath of those episodes – as hard as that might be to believe as this goes on.**

**Friday, 3 pm**

"Annie told me you asked her out."

Jeff sincerely wished he wasn't surprised to hear Abed say that. At least he waited until they were alone in the Greendale halls to let him know. And if Annie had to tell _someone _in her apartment about this, at least it wasn't the much less discreet Troy.

"Yeah….did you find out on your own, or did she tell you? That'd be interesting, since I kind of told her to do something….different with that news," Jeff recalled.

"She knows you told her not to tell anyone. But she still needed a sounding board to get her various emotions out. She didn't want to be over the top one way or the other for your date tomorrow, so she's getting it all out now. Since she's not that emotional today, it seems she's on the right track," Abed admitted.

Jeff_ had _wondered why Annie wasn't as giddy as he feared she'd be. But at least she was in a stable place now….which she should savor while she still had the chance. Not that she'd know that….and thank God Abed didn't.

"Right, so you know I secretly asked Annie out for Saturday night, is that all?" Jeff checked, hoping to get Abed and anything Annie-related out of the way.

"Not quite. Your actions have actually blindsided me, Jeff, and normally I'd give you kudos for that. But this sudden burst of originality, and your well ahead of schedule character growth, is a bit too odd." Oh, if only Abed wasn't odd enough to actually notice that.

"Where are you getting _any_ of that from, Abed?" Jeff asked, trying to stay nonplussed and stone faced.

"The last major subplot you and Annie shared was a few weeks ago during the war. Granted, it had your most heartwarming resolution since the season started. But I wouldn't have projected that to spring you into action like this. I expected you to wait until midseason of next year, or until some major plot twist beforehand, before you had your Annie breakthrough. You sped it along a lot faster, so you must have had a secret epiphany or an act of massive personal growth. But the more likely explanation at this point in the story is that you have some ulterior motive," Abed concluded.

"And….this is supposed to make sense _how_?" Jeff tried not to stammer. "Come on, I know you're an evil wizard, but you can't be right all the time!"

"That's true. But when the evidence is this overwhelming, and you're not supposed to get out of 'conniving son-of-a-bitch mode" to this extent for another season, I have to raise some red flags." Of course he did.

"You're actually going to figure this out, aren't you?" Jeff resigned himself to admit.

"I have some theories. Today's Friday, so I'll have the list down to 20 before Saturday morning. I should have a final theory before you pick Annie up tomorrow night, you can tell me if I'm right then." Well, that did it.

"No….you wouldn't be able to find out from me then," Jeff halfway confessed. He shouldn't be telling him anything even a quarter-way….especially not something like this. But this was _Abed_…..he _would _figure it out soon, and if Jeff didn't have a chance to control this when he did, he would be screwed. Then there would be _no _upside to what he was planning to do, and that was the whole _point _of this…..maybe Abed's analytical mind would get that.

Jeff double checked to make sure no one was watching, then took Abed deeper down the halls. "You have to _promise _me you won't tell anyone. Don't cheer if I proved your theory right, or say I jumped the shark if you were wrong!" he started, trying to talk on Abed's level and score some early points.

"Agreed. But if my theory about you being implanted by Evil Pierce is right, I can't be held responsible for my actions." Since that wasn't it, Jeff didn't bother to begin to understand that. Perhaps that would be a good sign.

"All right…..I asked Annie out….but I'm not planning to _take _her out." Jeff hoped that would be enough for Abed to get it right away. He searched his Terminator brain, then finally answered, "Ah, theory No. 8, the one where you stand Annie up. A slight upset victory, but its no Cinderella."

Jeff knew because of Abed's fly on the wall documentary persona, he would be the least likely to yell at him for this. Still, his lack of anger over what he had heard was a little annoying. "You do understand what I'm doing, right? I'm standing Annie up and breaking her heart because I have no choice. I have to do it now so she'll finally understand!"

"All right Jeff, if you need a monologue to explain yourself, I'll let you go ahead," Abed yielded.

"Let me? Why would you _let _me do anything, I'm standing up _Annie_! That's the kind of jackass I am, and she needs to finally understand that! She just keeps believing that I'm some sappy, teddy bear good guy deep down, and nothing I do makes her stop! Even when she's actually mad at me and sees that I'm a jackass, she _still_ thinks I can change and there's a sap in me! But we _both _have to come to our senses!" Jeff scoffed, then tried to talk quickly before Abed noted his last choice of words.

" I….I can't take another whole year of her….deluding herself into thinking I'm something I'm not! As long as she does, I can't concentrate or relax or even be me at all! And me is a single, unromantic, awesome but way _too _awesome for Annie jagweed! This is the only way she'll get that through her head and let us _both _move on, like we're _supposed_ to!" Jeff concluded.

Abed stayed blank as usual, as Jeff remembered he didn't _want _to make Abed yell at him. Yet he chipped in with, "You do realize once you don't take Annie out, she'll freak out and she'll tell everyone. Then the group will be so angry at you, and so desperate to stop Annie's ear-piercing screams, they'll kick you out just to restore order. But with you leaving a power vacuum….the group may fall apart forever."

"Yeah, I….kind of figured that out too," Jeff admitted. "But if that's what I have to do, then that's what I have to do. If the only way to end this is to break her heart for good – and it _is _the only way – then I'll have to live with losing the group too. Besides, once they rally around her and kick me out, they'll make her feel all better by graduation! She'll forget all about me like she should, and I'll be back to my old life again as planned! No one loses there!"

It was fool proof to Jeff, yet if anyone could nitpick, it was Abed. After all, he did just disclose a plan that would destroy Abed's roommate – for the short term – and possibly wreck his group of friends forever. Any other sane person would start yelling and screaming at Jeff, try to make him feel ashamed, and threaten to tell Annie everything.

But since this was Abed, all he said was, "I have to film this."

"Um, Abed, I don't exactly want to screen this at a theater near you," Jeff pointed out.

"No, not now, of course. But once your plan succeeds, it'll be the beginning of the end of the study group. Which means tomorrow is the last day of the group dynamic as we know it…..it's too historic for me _not _to document! And I know just how to do it," Abed announced.

"I sense you'll say something that would make me put anyone else in the loony bin," Jeff anticipated. "Jeff, I want to film you all day tomorrow," Abed answered, to which Jeff responded. "Yep, there we go."

"Actually, it's perfect for you. If you're being filmed all day, you'll be too distracted to feel guilty. And since I can't get involved, you won't have to worry about being guilt tripped. The only thing I want is to capture part of this landmark day on film. And by the time I finish the final cut, you'll be absorbed completely into your old life again, so it shouldn't bother you," Abed declared.

Jeff was already desperate enough to stand up Annie as a last resort. Therefore, perhaps this wasn't so desperate by comparison. After all, Abed already stood by and let the Dean drive him and the school to ruin for two weeks in that commercial. All he needed was to stay in his apartment for one day, let Annie feel betrayed, and then nothing would stop her from casting him out at last.

If Abed could keep him busy until then, it might be worth it. And if anyone could keep quiet and not nag him to death in the meantime, Abed would certainly do. "If I agreed to this, how would it work?" Jeff had to make sure.

"I know you'll want to stay in your apartment all day to avoid Annie. So I'll come by early, film you all day and leave after Annie's stood up. I'll probably do some editing for this new project to pass the time, and I'll need at least three talking head interviews with you. But other than that, I'll be a fly on the wall and you won't even know I'm there," Abed promised.

"You know, flies have always gotten a bum rap when they're not Jeff Goldblum," Jeff quipped. "Wait, are you _sure _you can keep this from Troy and Annie?"

"Don't worry, I know my way around them. Unless you have a more shipper friendly change of heart, your secret will be safe until tomorrow night." Jeff barely understood that, but it was better to hear Abed's TV-gibberish than….anything more unsettling.

"All right. If that's the case, it's a-" Jeff stopped himself from saying date, even as an ironic joke. That line would be off limits to him for comedy – and probably anything else – for a long time to come soon. So he said, "Well, I'll see you tomorrow morning, anyway," before heading off and making sure he didn't run into anyone _else _from the Trobed apartment.

Abed was unable to avoid that, however, as he went over to find Troy on purpose. "Troy, I have a code 1138 to report. And no, it's not that Courtney Cox called and asked me out, that's code 1139."

"You could have warned me before I called dibs on being her best man in my head!" Troy argued.

"You're right, I see that now. But I am warning you now that a very big solo project has come up. It's so big that I have to work alone, and I can't tell you anything about it. I just have to come home and pick up equipment, start pre-production here at Greendale tonight, then work the entire day tomorrow alone."

"But you'll miss Annie getting ready for her date with Jeff tomorrow!" Troy said. Abed blankly asked, "Really? They're going out?" and Troy didn't pick up on his poor attempt to act shocked. "Yeah, she told me after classes, since that's when it was safe to tell me or something. Whatever that meant. But now we can do an 80's montage where we reject all of Annie's dresses except the good one, right?"

"I'm sorry Troy, I can't be a part of this montage. But you can tell Annie that I'll listen to all her post-date gossip on Sunday," Abed said. "Besides, there's nothing more about 80's montages that I can teach you."

"I….have waited my whole _life _for approval like that!" Troy almost cried out, before snapping out of it and asking, "Wait, what's this project that's more important than shaking your head at dresses?"

"It's too big to give away now. But if it goes like I think it will….it'll be the most important production of my life." As Abed headed off, anyone else would have reflected more about how he said "life" at the end instead of "career."

However, Troy just practiced shaking his head at Annie's rejected dresses tomorrow – although he really needed more work with his yes nod at the end.


	2. Act 2

**Saturday, 11 a.m.**

Jeff was relieved that Abed waited until 11 am to arrive, instead of first thing in the morning. This day would be stressful enough without getting a proper sleep first – even if being awake at 11 am on a Saturday was still really early.

Nevertheless, he had more important things to overcome today, with Abed likely to tip the scales one way or the other – hopefully in the way Jeff wanted. Or at least the way he needed.

But he just focused on Abed when he came in – especially when he dragged in several pieces of equipment. "Good morning, Jeff," Abed said without seeming affected by the weight. Then again, not being affected by anything was what Jeff was counting on Abed for today.

He started by setting up a tripod at the center of the apartment, then hooked up a camera on top of it before taking out a remote. Once he used it to make the camera spin around, he went "Cool cool cool," for the first of probably 42 times today, in Jeff's best guesstimate. Abed then went to the kitchen table and put the remote, his laptop and a pair of headphones on top of it.

"So….it looks like you've got this covered. Enough that I don't need to….be awake or anything," Jeff negotiated. "If you usually sleep at 11:23 am, you can do that. You don't have to do anything you wouldn't normally make yourself do," Abed promised.

"I'm glad one of you gets that." This slip of the tongue made Jeff cringe a bit – even more so when he heard Abed's camera rotating towards him, thanks to him using his remote. "Don't tell me you're rolling already," Jeff barely hoped.

"It's all right, this is supposed to be raw and uncensored. I already chose the best bleeping sound for f-words last night, too," Abed informed. "I did a lot of things last night to get the project off the ground, and I still have a lot to do right now. Luckily I now have all the footage and reenactments I need to start the editing process."

"And how is that going to look, exactly?" Jeff inquired, although he wasn't supposed to even remember the study group or….members of it, by the time Abed put this in film festivals.

"It's just an account of all our adventures together, and the process that led to your fateful decisions today. But you're trying not to think about it, so I'll try not to bother you. I'll do my editing and listen to the footage on my headphones, while I rotate the camera around to capture everything you do today. I _will _need you to do a talking head interview at lunch, at late afternoon and before you don't pick up Annie for your fake date. But other than that, I'm not even here," Abed promised.

Jeff at least understood and liked that last part, so he nodded and did his usual Saturday morning routine – watch TV and barely look awake. But when he did get up off the couch, Abed indeed used his remote to make his camera rotate around and follow Jeff's movements. He somehow did this while working on his laptop at the same time, yet Jeff tried not to notice that – especially if it had footage of him and/or Annie on it.

But eventually, Jeff had to walk past Abed and make some lunch for himself. He put in a few pieces of toast, then started to walk past Abed again. However, he couldn't avoid noticing what he had on his laptop – a shot of Jeff and what looked to be a CGI shot of a blank heart over his chest.

"Abed, why are you CGI'ing my chest?" Jeff found himself asking. A few seconds later, Abed took off his headphones before Jeff could regret asking him anything. "This is one of my more innovative tricks. I'm dabbling into CGI in a very character centric way, while that tactic is still a viable option. I'm just double checking it so I don't have to edit it again later."

Abed clicked a few keys and somehow made a whole flash of images appear inside Jeff's CGI heart. Despite the impressive digital trickery, Jeff almost immediately found a problem with it.

"Whoh, whoh, whoh! Why the hell is Annie there?" Jeff yelled after noticing several split second shots of Annie's picture – and even one of her cleavage at the end.

"It's a visual montage of all the things you hold in your heart," Abed reassessed.

"Well, it's inaccurate!" Jeff insisted, ignoring how Abed had rotated the camera to film them. "Whatever you used to figure out what's in my heart, you got it wrong!"

"Hmm….my apologies, then. I spent so much time getting the technical aspects right, I must have glossed over the emotional ones," Abed conceded. "All right then. I owe you one for letting me film here, so I'll let you help me edit this right. If I was wrong in putting Annie in there, I probably got other things wrong as well."

Abed got out a notebook and turned to a page with a fairly long list. "Was I wrong in putting a deck of cards in there too?" Jeff instinctively wanted to say no, yet he didn't want to get into any arguments today. So he admitted, "No, I like playing cards….but everyone knows that about me."

"Just like how everyone knows you love your phone, alcohol and big yellow cars. That's why I put them there….but I guess I got the shot of a giant house wrong," Abed admitted, as he brought up that image on the laptop.

Jeff actually found himself looking at that picture more than he wanted to. "Is that….I looked at a picture of a house…._kind of _like that late in the first year," he said, not wanting to say yet that it was this _exact _house. "In fact, I was bragging about living there after I got out of Greendale and got back to normal….you _remember _that?"

"Of course," Abed said a split second before Jeff said it himself. "But I don't remember seeing you with this dog, so that was probably wrong," Abed continued as he brought up that picture.

"No, I wasn't with that one…..but…." Jeff stopped, not really wanting to continue down that line. Yet Abed went on with, "I noticed that dogs are one of the few animals and small creatures you've rarely recoiled from. My theory is you're a dog person. That would explain virtually everything about why your relationship with cat person Britta was written out."

Jeff's silence was his answer, so Abed was satisfied enough to click on one more picture – of the only other woman inside other than Annie. "This is actress Alicia Witt, I believe. I've seen you look slightly flustered when she's in movies we watch on movie nights – even '88 Minutes' and 'Two Weeks Notice.' Not to mention all those 'Cybil' marathons."

Jeff closed his eyes in frustration, which probably wasn't the best way to hide himself with Abed. So he sighed and confessed, "I saw her in an episode of 'Twin Peaks' when I was younger….and it kind of…stuck with me. I guess it's still stuck even now." Jeff prayed Abed would move on without saying anything about him watching Twin Peaks. The_ very last_ thing he needed was any commentary about Agent Cooper and Audrey Horne _at all_.

"Cool. Well, that's everything else I had, but you didn't say I got any of it wrong," Abed just had to remind Jeff. "So I got everything right about what's in your heart, even the dog and Alicia Witt, except for Annie. Well, that would have been a huge mistake on my part. Thank you for correcting me in time, Jeff," Abed thanked before turning back to the laptop.

Now that had to be sarcasm or some kind of dig at Jeff – except Abed didn't do those things. Then what _was _he doing? As Jeff saw Abed review the images again, he saw that shot of Annie's boobs again, which made more sense since there was nothing….deeper about him loving boobs. That was far more in character for Jeff to value boobs over everything else.

And yet he noted that there were more shots of Annie herself, and her smiling face, than her boobs. There were even more shots of Annie than of Alicia Witt – and there were no shots of Alicia's boobs. She didn't have as nice a chest as Annie, but neither did many people – and boobs were boobs anyway.

But there was just that one shot of Annie's chest and many more of her face….which seemed wrong despite how….noticeable her face was. It was probably due to the Disney eyes, since they tortured him into doing so many stupid things all the time. But those images weren't just of her eyes...they were of her whole face and upper body. They were just normal shots of Annie smiling and looking happy and relaxed….the best shots of her, really.

Wait, Jeff was thinking as if _he_ put this nonsense in his heart!

This was all Abed's doing, and he was clearly wrong here! Even if….he just scientifically proved that every single image he had in Jeff's heart was supposed to be there. Every one of them except for Annie….just Annie herself and not her body parts. Just her in the kind of shots that no other woman – no other _person_ – had in Jeff's heart…..but that was according to Abed!

Before that led him to think about Abed's….better guesses again, he heard the toaster go off. The toast was fairly burnt, yet Jeff still took it and the rest of his lunch before heading back to the couch. He ignored the camera's movements behind him and recommitted himself to doing and thinking about nothing. Yet he wound up eating too fast and soon had one less thing to distract him.

So he wasn't sure to feel relief or dread when Abed announced, "Jeff? It's time for our first talking head interview." Jeff now leaned more towards dread then.

But at least he only had to do one of these every few hours, and then he was in the clear. In any case, Abed couldn't be _that_ good of an interviewer.

"Okay, I set up the premise as best I could in my opening narration. But state it yourself so the audience is completely clear," Abed opened once Jeff sat down at the table and the camera pointed at them.

"All right….for the ADD demographic, my name is Jeff Winger. I am here because I am going to stay here all day and night…although Annie Edison expects me to take her out to dinner. When I don't show up, she'll finally see how stupid it is to want me as a boyfriend, or whatever Disney fantasy she has for us," Jeff listed, hoping the blunt approach would help out here.

"And then the subsequent argument will split the beloved Greendale 7 forever," Abed added on.

"No, it'll just make it the Greendale 6! They'll rally around Annie and kick me out, I'll go back to being awesome and Annie will finally start growing up!" Jeff insisted. "Maybe Britta and Shirley will help her hate men a little too much at first, but she'll get it right after a while! The important thing is they'll be there to fill the Jeff hole for her….okay, I want that edited out right now."

"It's okay, the audience will need a good laugh by then," After Abed paused for two seconds, he resumed with, "Okay, there should be no more laughter now. So Jeff, you seem reassured that when you're gone, Annie will have the rest of her friends to comfort her. If she didn't have that, would you still go through with this?"

"I don't have to face that, and the main thing to focus on is that Annie doesn't, either," Jeff countered rather well, if he said so himself without the cameras rolling. "She isn't alone and friendless anymore, and that is much more due to the rest of the group than me."

"Yet she wouldn't have met them if you didn't form the group to sleep with another woman," Abed reminded him.

"But that was my main contribution to her life. Now I'm meant to step aside so everyone else can help her be happy and rule the world," Jeff predicted. "Do you _want _her to be happy and rule the world?" Abed let out.

"Of course I do, everyone does! But she can't do that if she's too deluded about me, can she? After this goes away, she won't remember me at all by the time she's running the health care industry. She'll have much better, proper people to spend all her time with then," Jeff reasoned.

"Just like you'll have your old law friends to spend time with again," Abed compared.

"Well….I haven't seen _them_ in a while, and I've just scratched the surface of how to use Alan," Jeff recalled. "But yeah, that'll be my world again."

"So in trying to get Annie off your back, you're willing to give up your friendship with all of us as well," Abed noted. "Well, that's not the _main _goal….but you know there's no way they'll let me stay in after tonight! Once Annie's too hysterical to take all our notes, they'll have to kick me out just to pass the semester!" Jeff declared.

"You said _our _notes," Abed got out of that. "Okay, it's still _ours _for about 48 more hours, but it'll be _theirs _then!" Jeff reminded.

"I have to admit, you're making a very bold sacrifice to resolve things with Annie. Would you have done that with anyone else….like Britta, for instance? If she needed to get over you and be happy again, would you stand _her_ up and risk losing all your friends to do it?" Abed inquired.

"Abed, if I answered that in _full_, I'd be late for my own firing on Monday," Jeff semi-joked. "Britta doesn't need that much of a wake-up call to get over me. You did that for me by making our secret sex…less secret."

"Ah yes, which spawned the anti-shipper 'Annie of it All' moment," Abed remembered. "I admit, when she brought up those smaller moments between you, it proved your point that it was all in her head. But if she aired scenes like your kisses, your secret smiles, the times you followed her advice and did things for her, and your jealousy over Rich, would it have turned out differently?"

"Abed, if I said how many things were wrong with that in_ full_, I'd be late for my own graduation _next year!_" Jeff said with a bit less control than in his last answer. "Jeff, you showed a bit less control answering that," Abed naturally noticed.

"Abed, what's with these questions? You're not supposed to talk me out of this, you're supposed to stand there and watch me! Remember, Mr. Fly?" Jeff needled.

"I'm not trying to talk you out of this, I never said _or_ hinted that. All I'm doing is asking impartial questions and letting you explain yourself," Abed explained. "You call _this _impartial, really?" Jeff mocked.

"I'm not looking at this as Annie's friend or your friend, Jeff. I'm looking at it as a fascinating character study. You want to protect Annie and her long term happiness by hurting her, even if it makes you unforgivable to her and the group. You obviously put a lot of thought into your decision, although that kind of hard effort is out of character for you. The audience might not get it initially, but if you fully convince them as thoroughly as you convinced yourself, I know they would understand and feel for you. That'll be my parting gift to you, Jeff….the gift of being understood," Abed assured.

"I don't want to be understood or be felt….not in that way, anyway. I just want it to be _over_," Jeff promised, although it came out a bit more….raw and _slightly _emotional than he intended.

"Cool cool cool, that's a perfect cutting off point," Abed announced as if nothing had happened. "Good job Jeff, next talking head is in four hours." With that, Abed turned back to his laptop and resumed work, while still having his camera follow Jeff pacing around.

"Abed, do you _have _to keep doing that?" Jeff complained as he felt the heat of the camera on him. "What are you even getting out of filming me today? All you'll get is me eating, sleeping, watching TV, playing on the phone, and staying here _all night_!"

"Then that'll make this part much easier to edit," Abed cheered – or cheered by Abed standards – as he put his headphones back on.

Jeff gave up and slumped back onto the couch, lying right down in hopes that he was out of the camera's view. This helped him regain his senses, since he wanted this to keep him too busy to change his mind about tonight. But that all hinged on Abed being his normal, impartial, stand by and just observe everything self. And yet this was….what _was _it?

He didn't know, and it dawned on him that it might cause more trouble than it was worth to find out – to say nothing of those damned questions. Maybe a nap would block them out for a few hours, but now that he was up later than usual on a Saturday, it was a bit harder to sleep. That was the reason for it.

Jeff knew he should have told Abed to come at 1 or 2 pm when he had the chance – or was starting to wish he didn't know.

**Disclaimer: Alicia Witt being the non-Annie woman in Jeff's heart in that "Urban Matrimony and the Sandwich Arts" scene is just a fan theory I read, but I used it anyway. I used it in part because she did in fact star in a Twin Peaks episode – another series featuring an older man/younger woman will they/won't they pairing in Agent Cooper and Audrey Horne.**


	3. Act 3

**2 p.m.**

Jeff checked the time and figured it was at least 3:30 or 4 p.m. by now. When it was actually 2 p.m. instead, he had enough with sitting around – truly he'd reached rock bottom. "Abed, I think we _both _need a break!"

"All right, where are we going? I have the budget to film anywhere in the state, but not everywhere in the solar system. I'm saving that stuff for next week's outer space romcom," Abed informed.

"Well, while we're barely on planet reality, I say we just play around in here. There's a few things we can do without leaving the house, if we just kill enough time looking for them. Besides, I'm sure the audience would like some comic relief and last hurrahs by this point of the movie," Jeff illuminated.

"It is weird that there's no room for a musical montage yet," Abed realized, then logged off his laptop. "All right, let's find some activities set to the lost Inspector Spacetime May Day special soundtrack!"

"Or we could play cards, and you could force yourself _not _to count them for once," Jeff proposed.

"Ooh, a combination of thriller and fantasy. That's the sixth best mismatch there is….you _are_ going out with a bang, Jeff," Abed complimented. Jeff would take whatever victory he would get.

He certainly didn't have any of them for the next hour – even when Abed was working _not _to count cards, he was still throttling Jeff. But at least Jeff was angry and frustrated at that rather than anything else, so he insisted they keep going. Abed blew him out a little less severely for the next half hour, so Jeff figured that was close enough.

He then figured he could stand to lose at least three games of movie charades. To make it easier, Abed decided to only use Western movie titles, due to Jeff's history of cowboy 'costumes.' Of course, since Jeff only did enough research on Westerns to know he needed a hat, he stood no chance. After his third epic defeat, Abed commented, "Sorry Jeff, I really thought you could have snuck up on me."

"Don't worry….once I figure out how you cheated, I'm sure we can go a best 14 out of 27," Jeff offered, only 55 percent joking. Abed nodded in agreement as he went back to his laptop, making Jeff figure it might be safe to rest for an hour or two.

Abed got his editing tools back up on his laptop, then clicked on an audio file as he reached for his headphones. But before he put them on and concealed the sound from Jeff, he clearly heard Abed narrating, "But after Han kissed Annie at the paintball climax, she and Jeff would remain just as they were during that summer."

Abed only kept his headphones on for two seconds before Jeff took them off his head. "_Han_ kissed Annie at _paintball_?"

"I thought Annie told you that over the summer. Isn't that the third biggest reason why there were no major developments for you two until fall?" Abed revealed.

"We stayed the same because we didn't talk every day…..though it seems Annie had a lot she could have said…." Jeff restrained himself to say. "But I'd like to hear it from you now, if you don't mind…." Despite the casual words, this was far from a request.

Instead, Abed started with, "Wow….this really is a series finale. We're spending more time looking back on old events instead of creating new ones, we're reusing old running gags from years ago like this one...and we're going to let down so many fans who rooted for us. This is truly the end now."

"If any of that has _anything _to do with what I actually asked, _Han_, feel free to let me know," Jeff barely contained himself.

"It has everything to do with it, because it's a classic series finale callback in every way. You just reused the old gag of you being illogically jealous of any man who's near Annie. I kissed her in paintball as a different character almost a year ago, it clearly meant nothing, and you're _still_ furious at me. You're planning to never see her again, hurt her worse than any other man could to let a better man be with her someday, and yet you're still outraged to think of any other man near her. Even me." Abed then sighed what passed for a wistful sigh with him. "Ah, the memories of classic running gags past….you even miss _those_ during finales. At least until you spend the next several years saying they touched your childhood on the Internet."

"You, her, paintball….touched your _what_?" Jeff was too flustered to make sense, but he did come up with one slightly logical question. "_You're _the one who brought up that 'classic running gag,' not me! What the hell is your game here?"

"Ah, brushing past emotional truths to focus on something far less meaningful. Another classic callback. Now that I know the ending that running gag is leading towards, it'll be nice to rewatch old episodes and see the signs in a new light. By those standards, we really are ending everything on a high note," Abed declared before going right back to work on that laptop.

Yet again Jeff found himself pacing the floor, trying to make _any _sense of what Abed was doing. Just like he usually did….so maybe _that _was a 'finale callback' too. Abed certainly wouldn't be doing stuff like this in front of him again soon, and that was a bigger relief now.

Soon there'd be no more Abed, and no more _anyone _saying he was jealous of some paintball scumbag who kissed Annie, used another character to do it and then said it meant nothing! How dare he dismiss kissing Annie like that! If he _really _kissed her, he'd know just how hard it is to forget it, and how it leaves you with no choice _but _to dismiss it and insist it meant nothing!

Which it did….

What the _hell _kind of finale was this turning into?

"Jeff? I'm sorry to interrupt your inner monologue, but we have to do the second talking head now. We're running a little late, so we should jump right into it." Of course Abed wanted to jump into it. He wasn't getting _enough_ joy out of torturing him while he still had the chance.

Jeff sat back down in front of the camera while putting his stone face back on. As he morphed back into himself…..and being stone faced _was _himself…..Abed set the stage again. "Jeff, I understand things are getting more stressful for you as the hours drag on." Sure, _that _was what was dragging on. "And by the time 8 p.m. comes and you actually stand Annie up, it'll be harder to get anything out of you. So I'm going to ask just a few tough questions to start off, and then I'll give you a few softballs so you can calm down. Okay?"

Well, he put in the words calm down, so he had to like that on principle. Now that he looked cool and aloof – as he was supposed to be – perhaps he could take Abed's best shots. "All right, let's start by getting…..to the difficult stuff." Okay, not even starting to say "hard" had to bode well.

"As I stated off camera yesterday, your last major subplot with Annie was three weeks ago. Yet it must have stayed in your head long enough to make you come up with this plan. How did it inspire you to do this, exactly?" All right, it wasn't so hard – damnit – on the surface. But it would still be a little tricky to properly explain.

"Well…..I might have been on a bit of a feelings bender after I gave you and Troy those friendship hats. I know myself well enough to know it wasn't going to last. I can do a week tops of being sincere, but that's my long term limit before I go back to being a dick….that's just how I 'roll,'" Jeff ended in quotation marks to make this pass for a light moment. "So when the bender was wearing off and I stopped writing stuff down, I figured I should have _one_ talk with Annie about….our last major subplot while I had the chance," Jeff reasoned.

"After I made myself thank her for her help, she accepted it, of course. Then she said she was glad we were talking again….and that tricked me into saying it was good to have her talking to me, too." Jeff tried to stress the word _tricked _as best he could, yet he worried it might not translate on camera.

"She then said that no matter what's going on between us, she was glad that we could always count on each other to come through in the end. That even if we don't talk every day, or even if we're not….civil to each other, she knows we'll have each other's backs and those of our friends no matter what….and we always will. Then when she smiled and left….I knew it was getting bad enough that I had to end this right _now_," Jeff insisted.

"Then I spent a week wondering how, and then….Blade night in your apartment happened….and the very end of it made me hurry up and think of something. Then I worked out the details for a week, then I 'asked her out' and… now here we are," Jeff concluded, although he sensed he wasn't really finished.

"So when you talked after the war, she didn't kiss you or tempt you into kissing her. And you didn't fight, talk about your UST or act out anything besides friendship. She merely said she was glad you had each other's support and comfort. How did you figure out it was something more troubling than that?" Abed asked normally.

"It's all right there!" Jeff called out before getting his voice lower. "I'm Jeff Winger….I don't try or really _want_ to have people's backs. But even after everything I've done, _including_ letting you and Troy almost break up, she still thinks she can trust me! She still thinks she can _always _trust me. You know what _always_ means? It means this….nonsense will just keep happening for another year, even beyond that! And so will these feelings benders that trick me into forgetting reality! Well, three years of that has been long enough, thank you!" Jeff insisted.

"By nonsense, do you mean sexual tension?" Abed asked, to which Jeff just nodded and scoffed. "I hate to be repetitive, but it didn't sound like there was sexual tension in that talk. Maybe it just didn't come across the way you told it. I admit, if we had a clip of that scene to air instead of your description, it might have flowed more on film. But I can only film so much, so I can't really complain," Abed admitted, although it sounded to Jeff like he had done nothing but complain since he got here.

"Abed, it's very simple. The longer we hang around each other, the more she'll fool herself into thinking this 'sexual tension' will pay off. She's only settling for friendship because she's playing the long game, but she's still just as obsessed and deluded as she always has been with me! She's just hiding it better and wearing me down before she moves in for the kill!" Jeff insisted.

"And _is_ she wearing you down? If it was working and she was, it'd be logical that you'd retreat now and save yourself. If it wasn't, you'd have nothing to worry about and you could fight it off, when or if the time came. But instead you're withdrawing immediately," Abed noted.

"When or _if_? Of course it's going to happen! She's going to make it happen if I don't make her come to her senses now!" Jeff pressed.

"That didn't really answer my question. But I appreciate the callback to your Annie deflection running gag. It's good to see a master at work one more time," Abed appreciated.

"Well your master skills are slipping, because you _still _refuse to see what's really going on here!" Jeff accused.

"Perhaps you're right, Jeff. If Annie really is playing this long con on you, it would make a few things make sense. It might explain why she hasn't pursued anything romantic with you since the 'Annie of it All' incident. There was the Glee club seduction, but she _was_ under the influence….thanks in part to me," Abed remembered.

"That's right, I never thanked you for that," Jeff recalled – and for a split second, he recognized that he didn't say 'thanked' sarcastically as planned. "You're welcome, Jeff. Now then, I heard from Annie that she said to look in your heart before Shirley's wedding to do your toast, because there was something real there. Do you believe that was romantic too?"

"If it was, I stopped her, didn't I? I mean, from what you guys told me, I almost got married to _Britta _after that. And yet Annie still kept having faith in me! There's only one crazy reason that makes sense," Jeff wondered.

"Perhaps that's true. But Jeff, these upcoming events and breakups are going to be analyzed for years. That'll give critics more than enough time to think it _doesn't _make sense. We need to set the record straight here and stop the nitpicking before it starts," Abed warned.

"Haven't I been doing that?" Jeff said with less tolerance for Abed's little metaphors.

"I believe you have, but the questions will still come. They'll insist that Annie just wanted to stay friends with you now, and isn't really obsessed with the idea of you being together anymore. They won't believe you when you say you could leave her hanging again, this time for good, and go back to who you were without a second thought. They might ask me if you know she can't always count on you, or if you just don't _want _her to – then they'd ask why you don't want it. I can give them some good theories, but if you're going to be gone forever after this weekend, there's only so much I can say on your behalf. At least without documented, believable proof."

"And if I don't give it?" Jeff forced himself to ask while he was restrained enough to talk.

"Then I'll keep getting bugged with theories that won't make you a sympathetic lead character. You have to admit, this kind of character assassination usually takes place in a seventh or eighth season that never should have aired, not a third. Audiences which rooted for you for three years might not buy that you could throw Annie away, throw the first real friends you ever had away, go back to how things were and be completely fine with it. You have fanatical fans, but even they can't make that many leaps of faith, Jeff. After all, this isn't the first five and nine-tenth seasons of Lost," Abed warned.

"I'm not doing this for _them_!" Jeff insisted. "Do you think I _want _you all to hate me? Do you think if there was a way to be with Annie – I mean, _not _to be with her without screwing everything up, I would do it? There, there just isn't! And it's better that Annie and you guys hate me now before it….sucks so much harder when you do later. And that's the _only _reason!"

"Nevertheless, the audience will still have different theories," Abed laid out. "They'll think that it's you who became more infatuated with Annie than she did, and the implications of that terrified you. So much so that retreating to your old life became a final, last ditch effort to get away. Even if it took weeks to convince yourself it was worth it."

Jeff barely convinced himself to keep listening as Abed kept speaking for 'the viewer.' "Some fans could point out the irony that _you _made things up in your head this time about _Annie_ to justify your terror. That you didn't do this because hurting her was inevitable, but because getting together with her was. And the good consequences of that were scarier to you than the bad ones, especially after these feelings benders – so much so that destroying all your character development became a viable option to you. But if that's not true, then you have to make your future audience understand better, even if you can't tell her."

But at this point, Jeff was more than ready to say a few things. As such, he marched up to the front of the camera – or rather stomped up.

"All right….on the unlikely chance this thing is real, I _will _tell my 'future audience' some things. If I've blocked this movie's release by then, this goes out to Abed's lawyers. If future Jeff didn't welcome you to these defamation of character lawsuit hearings, I guess I'll have to," Jeff snarked.

"This entire project has slandered me before getting the facts straight. And the facts are that I had_ no choice_. Because Annie Edison is a bad Lifetime movie come to life. She is a glutton for punishment again and again, no matter how much reality tries to get through to her. For all her love of learning, she refuses to see logic or reason about me, and she makes it contagious too! The only way to get well is with a drastic cure, and that's what this is for the both of us!" Jeff declared.

"I mean, she's willingly ignored everything else! Like the fact I am not boyfriend or husband material, and that I never have been. There is absolutely no evidence that I am like that or could be, in my past _or _my present! All the hidden fake goodness she's made up in me can't hide that, yet she pretends it does! But like I said, there is no evidence….not _one _single piece of proof that even if I wanted to be with her, I could make it work in any way! Why is she so ignorant of that if she's not out of her mind?" Jeff rhetorically asked.

"Good point. And even if she turns out to be mostly cured already, yet cares about you anyway and could take or leave being together with you….even if you can't let her go as easily….I know that you know why it makes her crazier," Abed commented.

"Exactly – wait, it didn't sound right your way!" Jeff analyzed. "Stop undercutting me with your Abed logic! There's nothing meta or spoofy about this! The simple fact is I'm saving her from myself, since she's too crazy to save herself!"

"Assuming that theory is true, that would make you the bad guy for a very heroic reason," Abed recognized. "I'm not being a hero, that's _not _me," reminded Jeff.

"But you just said you want to _save _her from yourself," Abed recalled. "Plus sacrificing friendships, and being alone for the sake of someone else, sounds like at least eight Batman comics and one movie. Why follow the example of Batman if you really want to be like the Joker?"

"They were both grownups, Annie isn't, so so much for that comparison!" Jeff just managed to say coherently.

"And just so the audiences and lawyers are clear, what would Annie have to do to become a grownup?" Abed inquired.

"She has to stop feeling _anything _for me! With that handicap, it doesn't matter what her actual age is!" Jeff argued.

"So there are loopholes in which her age doesn't matter?" Abed asked. Yet being lawyered was the final straw for Jeff.

"It doesn't matter because until she realizes who I am, she will always be a 14-year-old living in a fantasy! And the cost is way too high for both of us to live in fantasy land anymore! I have to remember while I still can that I'm too awesome, and cool, and…._not _a child to feel _anything _for her! I just _have _to!

"And that's why you feel strongly enough to save her from yourself. By that logic, it doesn't matter if she's already faced that reality, knows who you are and _still _cares for you. Even if she feels she has to reinvent why that is….and even if you're the one who's fallen more for _her _at this point of your arc. At the least, it's the kind of rich dramatic irony a director only dreams of," Abed noted.

On the surface, that insight didn't seem like the worst of the bunch. Yet it pushed everything over the edge enough for Jeff to snap anyway.

"Shut up! You're a robot and she's not a real girl, you don't know anything!" Jeff yelled childishly and only halfway convincingly. "I hate you and I hate her and I hate your fake stupid audience! Get your cameras and your feelings and your big eyes off me already! I want it all gone _now!_"

Jeff went to the front door, yet since this would take him outside and closer to Annie, he stomped over to the bedroom and locked himself inside instead.

Abed just watched the closed bedroom door for a moment, then looked down at his watch. "Hmm, the mental breakdown happened on time after all. I could have sworn the third charades game pushed us too far behind." With that, Abed nodded and headed back to work on his laptop once more.


	4. Act 4

**6 p.m.**

It had been about 90 minutes since Jeff locked himself in his bedroom. For the first 45, he was firmly committed to never leaving for the rest of the night. But after finally exhausting his anger 45 minutes later, he stayed in more out of awkwardness and embarrassment.

Then again, if Abed actually left like Jeff asked, there'd be no one to be embarrassed in front of. And then that would be it. Abed's movie would be over – at least the parts with Jeff – and the last footage of him in it would be of him thoroughly trashing Annie.

Thoroughly calling her the ugliest names he could think of….names that maybe hundreds of people would hear on screen if this thing was real….names that Annie would hear….none of which were even true. As much as he told himself they were in the last few weeks….if not longer….it felt different now that he really _heard _how he sounded.

Months from now, Annie might just hear it too. And she would see hundreds of people believe Jeff when he said he felt nothing for her. And _that_ would be the last time she would have anything to do with Jeff again.

With that, Jeff shot up off the bed and quickly opened the door – then stopped when he saw Abed at the kitchen table. He had his headphones on and was still working on that damned laptop….which meant he hadn't left yet. Which meant there was still time to talk him out of showing that footage so Annie wouldn't be humiliated….no, he meant so Jeff didn't look like a jackass!

Wait, he was _supposed_ to be a jackass to get rid of Annie, so…..

Wait again, why did he open the door the second he thought Abed left with that footage? If he had, what would Jeff have done to catch up to him? Would he have risked going to the Trobed apartment – with Annie waiting for the date that would never come – just to destroy that clip?

_That _he found easier to do than going on a date with her?

Jeff shut the door before Abed could use his mind-reading powers on him. Of course, it wasn't like Jeff knew what was in his head either. It was so much simpler when he committed to this plan of standing Annie up – then stupid Abed had to make him explode.

Jeff didn't mean those things he said anyway….not the nastier ones. Abed just pushed his buttons way too hard, and it made him say things he wouldn't usually say. It made Jeff do things he didn't like to do, and act out even though he knew better. But now he was feeling stupid and childish, and he hated that this is how Abed's audience – if there was going to be one – would see him as and nothing else.

Nothing he did would erase that awful impression. No matter how different he insisted he was and actually was other than that one outburst….or two or three. Other than that, this wasn't how he was at all and it wasn't fair that…..

Oh hell no.

Did he just get a glimpse of what it was like for….

No….no, this was _far _different from Annie, it just was! Annie acted out all those times because she was love sick and a little girl, Jeff acted out because…..because….

What the hell was he?

He just knew he wasn't a hysterical, girl-crazy lunatic. Not all the time.

Just like Annie wasn't a hysterical, boy-crazy lunatic. Even less of the time. God, why did Jeff only recognize this stuff _after _making an ass of himself?

Annie probably asked herself the same thing something late in 2010….and probably January 2011….and late April 2011….and every other time Jeff somehow offended her.

And yet she picked herself up and stood by him again after a few days anyway.

While Jeff still couldn't even get out of his bedroom to face _Abed_.

After a few more minutes of stewing, Jeff made himself turn the doorknob and drag his feet toward the couch. By the time he arrived and slumped right down, Abed got up to join him. "Did you purge all the Annie bitterness out of your system?" Abed checked, and all Jeff could do was nod yes.

Jeff just stayed quiet for a few more moments, then admitted, "As much as I really, _really _don't want to say this…..I don't hate you."

"I know," Abed shrugged off. "And you're not a robot….and I don't hate Annie….and I know she's real too. Unreal most of the time….but she's still real," Jeff conceded.

"I know," Abed echoed again. "Other than that…..I know nothing," Jeff confessed, and since he had to follow the rule of three, Abed said "I know" one last time.

"Well, I'll have to get used to that, because I don't know how to know something. Well, not something like _this_. And I probably can't ask you…." Jeff trailed off before he got tempted to call him a robot again. But this time it was more tragic for him, since Jeff could….actually use someone with feelings to fix this mess.

"Affirmative," Abed said this time. "My skills are more in character analysis, pointing out plot holes and staying ahead of hack screenwriters. Something like this is trickier for me….but I know my limitations and I accept them. You've frequently exceeded your own limitations for years, especially where Annie is concerned. So you don't know where your limitations really are, or what you should do with them. It's the classic 70's space sex comedy formula put in modern times….kind of clever, really."

"Lucky me for being clever," Jeff quipped, if only to feel the familiar emotion of sarcasm. "The clichéd irony is that the one person who can help you is the person you don't know what to do about. Annie. That cliché transcends genres, so there's really no one rule on what to do. Plus your idea hasn't really been tried in many genres before….and you don't want to know how they turned out in horror movies," Abed stated.

"Great, now I have_ two _reasons not to sleep tonight," Jeff kept the sarcasm relapse going. But that might actually be preferable to not sleeping because of Annie….no matter _what _the reason was. This reminded Jeff that sarcasm had its limitations too.

"It's a shame, though. Annie gets carried away with emotions more than any of us. But when she has them under control, she usually knows the best way to use them. That's helped her fast track her character arc more than anyone in the group except you. But since I live with Annie now and I see her developing more, it might skewer my perspective," Abed nitpicked, as Jeff bit his tongue on Abed saying "Annie" and "developing" so close together.

"I knew right away that Annie would be an ideal comedy foil for me and Troy. Still, I wasn't sure if it was a sustainable premise after the first few funny episodes. But like the best shows, this one exceeded its one-joke premise too. She's still annoyed when we distract her from work and leave our blorgon suits in the kitchen, of course. But her persona has developed to the point where she can accept us, and have fun with us when she has the time, and make our two different world views work together. In more ways than even I've predicted on some occasions," Abed reflected.

"Most of the time, I still rely on Troy and our 28 parallel worlds to get me through everything. But on those rare times when Troy and movies and TV aren't enough….Annie's the most ideal candidate to turn to. I think we both know that better than anyone," he theorized.

"And where did _you_ get your knowledge from, exactly?" Jeff checked, hoping the answer had nothing to do with Han Solo.

"Example 1. You helped me and Troy end the pillow/blanket war and save our friendship. But from everything I found out from Annie about your story that week, you really sprang into action because of her. Because she cared about me and Troy's friendship, even while everyone else forgot about it, she made you care in the third act too. You deserved the credit for getting us back together, but you might not have done it if it wasn't for her. Which means me and Troy are friends again partly because of her too," Abed concluded.

"That's….there's something wrong with that _somewhere,_" Jeff insisted, but both he and Abed knew he didn't sound convincing.

"I didn't it see at first either. But it became clearer to me after….spending more time with her in a purely friendship way in example 2. It taught me a few more things about Annie's archetype. Like how although she doesn't always get people like you, me or Troy, she accepts us, cares about us and fights for us even when it'd be easier to give up. Most people just give up….especially when we give them every reason to do it, knowingly or not. But she never gives up even when everyone else would. And it makes those she impacts reexamine their character arc in a new light."

For the very first time ever, Abed's lines about character arcs actually….made twisted sense to Jeff. Of course, he still had no idea how Abed could have figured that out about Annie in 'example 2,' which he never _actually _explained. But Jeff was confused enough as it was without going into that. "Yeah….it kind of does," Jeff then actually heard himself admit.

"Granted, it is still easy to forget these lessons on a given week," Abed conceded. "After all, characters still usually have to retcon in order to keep the show going. But if the retconning goes too far, it's reassuring that Annie will always be there to keep characters from becoming unwatchable. Even when _they're_ convinced there's no other way for their story to end…._she_ never is. And for a few historic moments, they believe her."

After Abed acknowledged this, he actually went and admitted something without TV metaphors. "Next to Troy….she's my best friend."

Jeff stayed quiet until he knew he couldn't keep his response in anymore. "Next to….well, no one….she's mine too," he left himself admit.

Then after a few more seconds, he continued, "And I'm still going to do…._this _to her anyway. The fact that I'm even considering it, much less about to do it…..doesn't that say I'm doing the right thing by keeping her away?"

Jeff had insisted it was all day….and yet this time, he was honestly asking like he didn't know. It didn't escape him that he asked if he was doing the _right_ thing, in spite of his earlier insistence that he was the bad guy. But he was glad Abed didn't find it necessary to rub that in.

"Many different movies have many different answers to that, Jeff. Unfortunately, you and Annie could be in any one of them," Abed noted.

"Right, well, that's it, then. Even if you or someone else could help me, you can't do it with this little time left. Britta would spend it lecturing me, Shirley would just gossip to Jesus, Pierce would never believe I asked out a woman, Troy is…..out, and the Dean would take my reservation and dress up as me!" Jeff resigned himself. "I pushed this aside for over two years, so_ I _can't figure it out in under two hours! Maybe that's a sign I should stay here and get kicked out like I planned. I mean, what else am I capable of doing?"

Jeff didn't expect a real answer from Abed, so he wasn't surprised when he said, "That's a good cliffhanger to pause on. Now that your bedroom's free, I should go to the bathroom in the meantime." So Jeff nodded and laid back on the couch while Abed headed for the bathroom. But if Jeff hadn't looked up at the ceiling, he might have noticed the small duffel bag that Abed carried with him.

Instead, Jeff stared up blankly and thought he should just sleep for the next two days. He might have been able to sleep before that last talking head, when he knew exactly what he had to do. But Annie and dumb feelings had to mess things up for him, like they always did – and they even possessed Abed to help them too. This was why he wanted to get away from them in the first place, and _would_ get away….that much he knew how to do.

He didn't know how to be a boyfriend. He didn't know how not to hurt her. He didn't know how not to dismiss her for her age, no matter how many times she acted wiser and braver beyond it. He didn't know how to value women beyond their ability to sleep with him; no matter how he thought more about _being_ with Annie than_ sleeping_ with her in his….weaker moments. He didn't know how to be in a long term relationship – regardless of how he never thought about that with any other girl he had ever met.

And if he didn't know, then Annie couldn't waste any more time on him until he did. And if he wasn't 100 percent sure that the answer was yes, then Annie just couldn't be subjected to him. She was…..she was too special. Even _Abed _said how special she was with barely any TV metaphors.

For the first time today, Jeff wished he had it in him to talk to Annie and let her guide him, as she often did. But that-

"Oh, Jeff, there you are!"

Well, it seemed his brain had finally checked out and made him imagine Annie's voice. Surprising it survived as long as it did, really.

Somehow, Jeff's eyes must have checked out too. Why else would he have looked up and seen Abed wearing an Annie wig and an Annie-esq purple cardigan?

"Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it, or can your phone take it from here?"

…..why _else_ would he see Abed wearing an Annie wig and an Annie-esq purple cardigan?

"Jeff? Jeff, don't make me break out the tears!" Okay, Abed was _not _going that far!

"Abed….I'm already in therapy, and I'd like to get out of it before the next century. You're _really _not helping there," Jeff tried to diplomatically say.

"Oh! Jeff, I'm _Annie_, not Abed!" Abed spoke in an unsettling Annie flutter. "I know I was afraid I'd start acting like him and Troy, I remember that! But that was a month ago and I barely read Britta's psych book anymore!"

That was a scary week, and those memories certainly weren't helping here. "Abed, I'm going to call some men in white coats in about 10 seconds. Whether I have them take you or me away depends on what you say next, okay?"

At last, Abed spoke in his normal voice – albeit in a whisper. "Jeff, we need to get back on script soon, or the audience will get confused. You were going to imagine talking to Annie, and my camera can't film inside your brain for another five years," Abed finished while nodding towards his camera, which Jeff finally remembered was still filming. "They'll only buy that I'm your imaginary Annie for so long unless you talk to her."

"Why would I talk to her – I mean, you?" Jeff actually whispered. "You're not the real Annie!"

"All right, if you want me to go through an audition process, I can do that," Abed offered. Jeff groaned since he knew there was no time for that. Even if there was, he couldn't invite anyone in the group to play Annie – or explain why he needed them to. Plus no outsiders knew Annie as well….or had the training, or the up close experience, to impersonate her as well.

Damnit. Abed barely knew about emotions or touchy feely real life stuff….but he knew exactly how Annie would act that out. He was….as good a substitute for Annie as any – and at least he didn't have to worry about ogling 'her' or wanting to kiss 'her.' Not that….okay, there was no time to jump through his usual hoops. So Jeff sighed and started with, "Annie….I know you're not Abed, okay?"

"Great! Just let me get dressed up and we can go on our date!" Jeff _really _didn't want to take the chance that Abed would get _that _into character. So he touched his wrist and jumped in with, "Annie….I have to tell you something."

This was somewhat ridiculous, since Jeff never planned to _tell _Annie that he was standing her up. In fact, an important part of the plan was that he wouldn't have to get yelled at until tomorrow or Monday. But now that "Annie" was here, maybe this would be a good way to practice facing "her" wrath before the real Annie tried to kill him.

Abed-Annie just sat there, hanging in wait for Jeff to start talking. He even had the same wide smile as Annie – albeit without as many layers and emotions. His eyes were also as wide as Annie's, even if they weren't as revealing or crystal or…..uniquely powerful. But Abed's facial cues were technically accurate enough on the surface to bring Annie to mind – meaning he could probably cry on command too. And the minute Jeff told him they weren't going out, now or ever, Abed-Annie would probably turn the waterworks on as suddenly as Annie-Annie.

With Abed's acting skills, he'd be so convincing that seeing the real Annie cry later would crush him even worse. Yet it had to be done….but did it have to be so hard to remember that? Why was it hard even now with a fake Annie here?

"Damnit, I can't do it! I can't tell you because I don't want to see you cry! And I can't do the only thing that'll make you stop crying over me!" Jeff said as if he really was talking to Annie.

"What's that? Are you going to tell me this time?" Abed-Annie checked.

"You want a boyfriend and a real family someday….I can't give you that. You can say you don't want it that bad and you're willing to take it slow, but that's _still _not fair! Boyfriends, husbands, marriage and families are stupid to me, but they're not to you, even with the rotten family you had! And you….shouldn't have to want that stuff less because of me," Jeff conceded. "I'm not your dream guy, no matter how much you think I am. What is it going to take for you to understand that once and for all?"

"Jeff, I just got over you, okay?" Abed squealed in a rather convincing Annie shriek. Yet Jeff wasn't so convinced about the words. "But what now?" was all he had.

"I already know you're not the dream romance guy I thought you were, okay? You've made it pretty clear for years, but I filled in the rest myself!" Abed-Annie informed. "I thought I was in love with you back then, but a lot of it was for the wrong reasons! And that….that can't be enough for me anymore. I'm _not _a child anymore and I'm _not _going to get carried away over a…..romantic daydream version of you like I used to! In short, I'm _growing up_, Jeff. Just like you always said I had to. I agreed to go on a date with you, but that doesn't mean I'm in puppy love with you again."

"But….but then why did you agree to go out with me anyway, if that's true?" Jeff sputtered out, forgetting that he was just talking to Abed as Annie. Yet if Abed was saying this as Annie….it had to be what the real Annie believed. Abed just….wouldn't portray someone that out of character. _Ever_.

"Jeff, if anything's going to happen, I can't make the first move anymore. But_ you _just did. Maybe I don't feel _exactly _the same way I did before. But if you still feel…._something _for me and you're ready to deal with it, then I can't just ignore it. I _could,_ but I'm not that vengeful. I still want to see where that could go….just not in an immature way. If we go any further because of this, that's great. If not….then I know I can handle it better than two years ago. Because I have more to value than just you, and I'm starting to learn that that's good enough. Besides, even if I don't get you as a boyfriend…..keeping you as my best friend isn't _so _bad," Abed-Annie concluded.

As much as this might have assured Jeff that Annie wasn't who he feared she still was…..and perhaps he always knew that deep down….it did nothing to make him feel better. In fact, it just made him feel worse for wanting to stand her up – and worse about himself for coming up with such a plan.

Jeff was so afraid and paranoid about his own feelings – or denying he had them, or denying that they felt something other than wrong – he never thought about the Annie that he _didn't_ imagine in his head to justify this plan. The _real _Annie – the one who wasn't who she used to be, who was growing and changing in ways that Jeff couldn't match, and who was becoming the incredible adult Jeff always knew she would be. The one….who was so powerful that Jeff made up a desperate plan like this so she couldn't get any closer to him….for whatever new reason/excuse/fear he made up on a given week.

And yet while Jeff was crossing an unforgivable line to make Annie outgrow him, he ignored that she'd already done it. But if Abed's Annie was accurate – and he wouldn't be playing her if it wasn't – she still trusted him enough to risk going out with him anyway. She outgrew him, and yet she cared about him enough to give him one more shot without freaking out about it. Yet somehow that hurt even more than her outgrowing him and hating him.

This only reinforced the core belief that shaped this bright idea in the first place.

"I don't deserve to be either one of those things," Jeff admitted. "I hurt you, I assume I know better for you, and I ignore who you really are and who you're becoming. How can you still trust me not to make you cry at the end, no matter _what _I am? If you're really so much wiser, why do you _still _have _any _belief in me?" he asked with far less condescension and more guilt-ridden curiosity.

"Is crying all you think you do to me?" Abed-Annie wondered. "Get up and hold that thought." Jeff ultimately gave in and followed his…..friend to his table, where he stood besides the laptop.

"I got a sneak peek of what Abed was doing before he came here," Abed-Annie pretended. "Do you know what he did all last night and this morning? He filmed reenactments of all our major moments together!"

"Wait a minute, I thought you…._he _was making a movie about the entire study group! For….some reason," Jeff recalled.

"I guess he wanted to do the juicy stuff with us first before he got to that," Abed-Annie explained. "But he's got good stuff so far! Yeah, we fight and I cry in a few of these scenes, but we do so much more….you just haven't seen it from a different view. But he just finished putting that together."

_That _was what Abed was editing together all day? What the hell was that supposed to….

Yet as Jeff tried futility to make sense of it, Abed-Annie was loading up a large video file on the laptop and placing the headphones on Jeff's head. After a few more seconds, he-she played the movie for the one-man audience.

As the real Abed's disclaimer noted, this was based on all the Jeff/Annie events he watched, and all the ones he heard enough about to piece together. To start off, even though Abed wasn't around to see them fight over Troy's football future, Jeff noted he still got their dialogue and actions pretty down pat. Or rather, the Jeff and Annie actors did.

There was no way that he bought these actors as himself and Annie, of course – as if actors could be as hot as them or smile like them. But if Abed was directing them….then he knew how to make them act and behave exactly like the real Jeff and Annie, to the letter.

As such, it really was like Jeff could see all his moments with Annie from the outside looking in. Not only did he remember the real events quite vividly, he saw them from a new perspective as well. Now that he _saw_ what he probably looked like and how he acted during these ordeals, it was….quite unsettling. But the more he saw himself, the more it was hard to look away – and not just because no one would want to look away from any version of Jeff.

He also couldn't look away from the remake of the Transfer kiss, of course. And it….was even more striking seeing it again than all those times he _accidentally_ thought about it. Wait, was Jeff _really_ the one who initiated that second kiss?

Then they got to the first day back, as the Annie actress certainly captured Annie's crazy that day. But Jeff already had his epiphany about how that hysteria didn't define Annie. As such, it made it a bit….sadder to see subsequent scenes with Annie dealing with Jeff heartbreak. Especially the scenes the real Jeff wasn't witness to. In contrast, the real Jeff looked indifferent and ignorant in the meantime, which made the real one remember how hard it was to look that way. But now he was…..less proud of himself for succeeding.

Then it got to the Rich incident, as Abed made the bathroom scene even harder to watch than it was to live through. He even recreated how Jeff ran through the rain to talk to Rich – and made it look like he was running to confess to Annie beforehand. Jeff never saw how misleading that moment was from the outside before – and he never thought about Annie being _that _sad after being rejected by both Jeff and Rich on the same night. Yet Abed knew about it much better than Jeff….of course he did.

Then Abed showed a reenactment of the student election ordeal, where he even knew enough about their closing hug to reenact that too. He must have gotten that detail from Annie – but he didn't understand why he had fake Jeff opening his eyes and looking slightly overwhelmed during their hug. Pierce was the only one to see them hugging, and he was slightly lucid at the time, so maybe that's where Abed got his intel.

Jeff would have said it was wrong intel, except he now remembered how….funny he felt during that hug. And again, if Abed found out and deemed it believable enough to put into his film, it was probably….somewhat on the level.

And then came the "Annie of it All" and the painful accuracy Abed had in detailing that scene. But it didn't excuse how Annie brought up moments she read way too much into to prove her point that day.

Yet this time, when the fake Annie spoke out in the movie, Abed replayed his reenactments of moments like the debate, the transfer kiss, Jeff trying to save Annie from Chang even after screaming at her, and more scenes where….an actual connection was there. He even put in the song "Gravity" to play in the background for some reason.

Jeff remembered Abed's earlier question, about whether he would have felt differently if Annie referenced _real _moments between them that afternoon. So Abed actually set him up from the start…..he had probably planned this from the second Jeff talked to him on Friday! Then that meant he was too biased to be impartial, and that _he _was seeing things that weren't there either!

But this was Abed. He may not have been as much of a fly on the wall today, yet he didn't document things that weren't there. It just wasn't his style. He wasn't a dreamy romantic and he had been accurate in observing _everything _for years. Plus he was such a perfectionist that he even rivaled Jeff and Annie themselves at times, and _that _said a lot.

If he saw, heard about or figured out that Jeff and Annie acted this _exact _way….and if he saw or concluded that Jeff looked so much more affected by Annie than he ever remembered….and if he was portraying Annie as someone not obsessed with being with Jeff anymore….it had to be true. Abed wouldn't have put it in one of his precious movies if it wasn't. He wasn't _that _sneaky.

"It's something to finally see yourself the way I've seen you, hasn't it?" Abed-Annie asked. "I actually heard something profound on the subject once. It was about how we don't clearly see our patterns until they're laid out in front of us."

Of course, Jeff didn't remember that the quote actually came from Dean Pelton, moments after the "Annie of it All" unfolded. If there was still a chance for him to remember that, Abed-Annie ruined it by continuing. "You can lie to yourself all you want about how you feel, and how the way I see you look at me is all in my head. But the camera doesn't lie."

"Not Abed's camera, anyway…." Jeff recalled. He had that rubbed in further when it showed recreations of the Model UN talk, the wedding advice, and of course the blanket war silent treatment. Jeff tried his own silent treatment on Abed-Annie, if only to buy time for a counter argument. He finally had one after the last montage ended – although he wasn't confident it was a good one.

"Annie….okay, maybe this stuff shows a lot of our moments in a new light. Or a light everyone else saw but me," Jeff conceded. "But acting like that around you when we're friends is easy. Like I told Abed….I have given you _no _evidence that I can be the _boyfriend_ you should have. And….I don't know if I can just learn on the job."

"There was nothing that suggested you could be friends with an entire study group either," Abed-Annie reminded. "There was nothing that suggested you could like someone like me in any way at all. But although you never did stuff like that before, you did it anyway. You _just _saw that a few minutes ago on film!"

"I know, but I wasn't trying back then! I'm not….good at _trying _things! Especially something _this _important!" Jeff admitted.

"Did Jeff Winger just admit he's bad at something?" Abed-Annie wondered in that penetrating Annie fashion.

"Well…obviously that doesn't leave this room, right?" Jeff tried to quip like he usually did with Annie when he was caught. But that rarely worked with Annie and it certainly wouldn't work with the Abed version.

"Jeff, I don't know how to do this either. I've never had a relationship like the one I've had with you, and we haven't even dated yet. But at the least, I've been learning how to deal with you for three years now! If we do this for real, I know you'll struggle and make me furious sometimes, but you do that all the time already! And you've still made up for it time and again, no matter how much you fought it! You _just _saw that a few minutes ago too!" Abed-Annie recalled.

"But…you don't deserve me doing things to you that I _have _to make up for," Jeff pleaded. "And I don't know if I can just.…_stop_ doing them. You can't settle for that."

"I _can _settle for how you make up for it almost every time – like you saw in the movie. Or for even when you don't, you actually feel regret when you figure it out – like you feel after seeing this movie. Or for how even when we can't figure out how we feel, we're always there for each other when we need to be….more than we've been for anyone else our whole lives. I can live with the bad stuff if _that's _what we'd be like the rest of the time. And now that you're here, I still want to believe….without going overboard about it….that it can be. The proof is all right there," Abed-Annie gestured to the laptop again.

"Then how does that gel with you saying you were over me a few minutes ago?" Jeff had to know.

"I said I'm over the _idea _of you! But the real thing….I still see something there, and now you just finally saw it too," Abed-Annie again reminded Jeff. "Now that you have and you want to take a shot, then I think we can at least try to start over. You'll have to actually work to make me _completely _gaga for you again, of course. At least with your shirt on. But if you're really going to put me through this _again_….and if you're _really_ sorry for your part in all our screw-ups….I can try to give you _one _more chance without losing my head over it. I need to do it that way if I'm going to grow up….so this is as much for my selfish reasons as anything."

"Well….I always knew I'd corrupt you somehow," Jeff tried to quip, although his snarky energy was now a little off. "But….you've spent all this time working on who you really are. I'm a lot more new at this, so there's still a good chance I….won't have it in me to do my part. I mean, problems with the age stuff, the group, my commitment, and my belief we don't stand a chance….those just don't go away in one night."

"Okay, then answer this. If you were remotely confident that we could work, and that my age and the group didn't bother you….would you want to date me? And if you did, would you want to keep dating me even after we had….sex?" Abed-Annie whispered the last word right in character.

Jeff had to laugh at that – so when he answered "Yes and yes" not too long after, he could have blamed that laughter for catching him off guard. Before he could think to do so, however, Abed-Annie asked "And why is that? Is it just because you don't want me to cry? At least not in front of you?"

Jeff had to get a few things clear before he answered that. "Just to remind me….this is a hypothetical situation where I _know _I couldn't hurt you, and I actually wanted a long term relationship?" Abed-Annie nodded yes quickly. "Then….if all that was true, I'd…." Jeff gazed at Abed-Annie and swore he almost saw the real thing. When that brought about a few other emotions, Jeff finally started talking.

"The thing is….I've _never _thought about being in a long term relationship with anyone. I've never thought about women that way. And when I think about them, I don't think about them being smart, or nice to just talk to, or calling me out on my crap! Or being kind, or generous to everyone, or being my honest to God friend. Or having beautiful body parts other than the…..usual favorites.…or having anything else that's beautiful. But….I've thought _all _that at one time or another about you….if not all at once."

"And whether you let yourself be with me or not….those thoughts will still be there. The fact you had them at all says something important, doesn't it?" Abed-Annie pressed. "You were _never _capable of those thoughts before. If you are now, doesn't it prove you can be capable of boyfriend stuff too, if you really want it? Especially since you have _proof _that part of you wants it for the first time _ever?_ Especially since I can help you every step of the way anyway, like usual? Even when we _both _do stupid things?"

Jeff had no answer – but he didn't have a "no" answer either. He just said, "No matter what you look like….you do things to my brain, Annie."

"Yay, I know what that means in your language! Wing-lish, I call it!" Oh God, Jeff hoped Abed was improvising and making that up…..even if there was something adorable to it. "I'm glad too, all those speeches were wearing me out. I need to touch myself up in the bathroom for a second, be right back!" Abed-Annie declared as he/she exited stage left.

Jeff shook his head in both confusion _and _awe at Abed's performance. He probably didn't even know half of what he was saying – but he knew Annie well enough that he knew _she'd_ say it.

Which meant the real Annie would have said those things if she was here. Which meant the real Annie was growing up and moving away from fantasy after all. Which meant the real Annie_ still_ believed in Jeff despite having a clearer head about him. Which means if Abed-Annie nearly sold him on this whole thing, the real one would have closed the deal. Which meant….

"Hey Jeff," the real Abed announced as he emerged from the bedroom, now back to his version of normal. "What'd I miss?"

"Really? You're _really _going to pretend you didn't…." Jeff decided to drop it, not taking the chance that Abed really _didn't _remember playing Annie. So he kept playing along and said, "Annie came by while you were gone."

"I know. She seemed pretty happy about whatever you talked about. She even said you liked the first cut of my movie," Abed recapped.

"It was….illuminating," Jeff reviewed, as he started going through the movie again and looking at his doppelganger. "This Jeff looks so fond and emotional and….other things I didn't realize….of Annie. But it's _still _not me. I know, I know, if you saw me look like that at her, it's probably true….but there's still too much room to doubt it. And I don't want to….doubt with her anymore."

"Okay, so how do we eliminate it?" Abed asked.

Unfortunately….or not….Jeff knew there was only one way to eliminate all doubt and uncertainty.

And it was only 7:10 p.m., so there was still just enough time to get ready.

But even doing…..that wouldn't be enough. He still clearly couldn't trust himself to see what was really happening. Not without certain proof even he couldn't ignore or deny. Abed's movie rubbed that in the hard way.

This left only one sure fire way to be certain.

"Abed…..would you like some footage for your movie _without_ needing reenactors?"

**Disclaimer: Again, a reminder - I wrote this story well before "Pillows and Blankets" and "Virtual Systems Analysis" aired. I CANNOT stress this highly enough. The entire plotline and trajectory of this story and chapter was written well in advance. But I edited it to include the P&B stuff two weeks ago, and then I did a massive rewrite of key parts of this chapter late last week to incorporate the Annie and Abed stuff from "System Analysis" This included Abed's hints at 'example 2" and massively rewriting a lot of Abed-Annie's words, in light of real Annie's newfound cooled down feelings about Jeff.**

**So this chapter and story isn't a kneejerk reaction/retcon born out of those two episodes – and it only looks that way because I needed to do last minute rewrites in light of those eps. With all the work I did on that after "System Analysis" I thought I should spell it out even clearer.**


	5. Act 5

**9:45 p.m.**

Jeff rushed back into his apartment and made way for Abed to get in and return to work. He put his camera, and the precious footage it contained, back on the tripod and started hooking it back up to the laptop.

As Jeff waited for Abed to get tonight's footage on his computer, he sighed in relief once more about how it had all worked – for now.

First he was lucky that he reserved a table for him and Annie at a window. Then he got lucky to park within range of that window – and that Abed arrived to the restaurant via cab on time. After Jeff got Annie inside the restaurant, he excused himself to actually put away his phone in the car – which was painful enough. But it was somewhat worth it so he could secretly get Abed inside the car – where he'd film Jeff and Annie eating dinner as planned.

He wouldn't get to record the audio – and Jeff saw way too many of Abed's movies not to know the pratfalls of wearing a wire. But Jeff would remember whatever he and Annie talked about just fine. What he wanted was for Abed to record their movements – and whether the real Jeff looked as affected by Annie as the fake Jeff did in Abed's film. He couldn't trust himself for a proper perspective, so he'd turn to the higher power of Abed's camera.

Once Jeff had gotten Abed in his car and made sure it was completely dark inside, Abed turned on the camera, put tape over any blinking lights, and started filming Jeff and Annie when he could see them sit down at the table. Fortunately, Jeff made sure Annie focused on him and their food all night, instead of looking out the window.

After that, they settled down and ate and talked for the next hour plus. And now that Jeff had dropped Annie off and gotten home, he could see if he _really _looked the way he felt during the date. Because if he did and there was no wiggle room to deny it…..

Jeff shook it off, as he'd get to that when he got to that – if he did. First he had to see the footage, which Abed finally had up and ready to screen on his laptop. So he sat down next to him and prepared to hang the….forseeable future on Abed's somewhat illegal spying.

But his illegal spying did yield a good picture, as he actually got a clear view of Jeff and Annie at their dinner table. Jeff could tell that he looked uneasy at the start, just as he felt – whether due to worrying about Abed getting caught, or just due to Annie's lavender dress. But he did remember complimenting her on that again to break the ice.

"_I mentioned you looked hot already, right?"_

"_Jeff! You actually said I was beautiful before, remember? It was right before Troy ran into the Dreamatorium, crying into paper towels."_

"_Right….well, in my old…..life experience, it might have slipped my mind."_

"_I wish I could slip today's 'fashion montage' out of my mind, too. It was so chaotic without Abed there to edit Troy's head shaking. I just hope he's working on something Oscar worthy, at least."_

"_Well Annie, you know Abed and he knows us. I'm sure he thought he could leave us unsupervised for one day."_

"_He said it was for the biggest project of his life, according to Troy. He didn't come home at all last night or all day today, so it must have been pretty important to him."_

"_Things that are important to you can take up a lot of your time. More than you'd like to admit sometimes."_

"_You're right, Jeff, they are mixed blessings sometimes. But they're not mixed all the time."_

Annie chose to stop her metaphor there, before either she or Jeff took it too far. Jeff saw that he looked pretty relieved at that, then looked a bit more relaxed in the next several minutes. He then had Abed fast forward the footage for a while before he got to the next big part, when they were looking through their menus.

"_Come on Annie, you're telling me you didn't pick your food for this date years ago?"_

"_I did.…but I'm trying to get out of dreams and into reality. Besides, those old dream foods don't look as good in here. But what about you? I'm sure you have a formula for charming dates with food orders, right?"_

"_Annie, can you really structure my charm? Really?"_

"_Yeah, you've been getting me there for about three years."_

"_You can't say I slack off on everything, then. So come on, if there's some dream food you want, just tell me and I'll get it over here. This is all for you, you know!"_

"…_..you're doing it again. That look on your face when you realize you're actually making an effort for me. That kind of embarrassed, kind of….not really embarrassed look."_

God, there it was….just like those seven times he saw it in Abed's movie. Is that what that….weird feeling inside him actually looked like?

"_Jeff, it's okay. I don't want you to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. I already know you actually like doing things for me, you don't have to rub it in if you don't want to. This is a big enough step for you."_

"_That much is true….but if I am doing this, I shouldn't just give you the awesome half-assed Jeff Winger. There's an awesomeness reservoir in me that, if untapped, could power Canada alone! To think you just got the tapped version for this long!"_

"_It boggles even my mind…..but still, Jeff Winger using any half of his ass is awesome. Most of the time."_

"_With that in mind, you're really lucky I'm using the PG half."_

"…_..Jeff, ew! You couldn't have made me think of that after I ate?"_

"_Oh right, eating! I'm glad we got from ordering food to hinting at…..the aftermath of eating food. But I guess we should get to the ordering now."_

Eventually Annie was composed enough to choose a meal, and she even made sure that they got Jeff's order just right. Once dinner started, Jeff saw himself look looser now that he had food in his belly. Much of it was due to eating something for the first time since lunch. But now that he saw how he looked at Annie when they did their toast, he suspected another reason why he felt better.

Yet Jeff went to the edge of his seat when he saw them act out the big talk of the evening on camera.

"_I'd gotten over you before tonight!"_

"_Oh! Oh, hold on… I'll get that….pesky water down….the right pipe…..you were saying, Annie?"_

"_Okay….if I have to be honest, then the thing is….I had just gotten over you. And I already know you're not the dream romance guy I thought you were, okay? I thought I was in love with you back then, but a lot of it was for the wrong reasons. And that….that can't be enough for me anymore. That's why I was skeptical when you asked me out, and I didn't let myself get carried away."_

"_You….you really don't say. So….what changed your mind?"_

"_Jeff, if anything's going to happen, I can't make the first move anymore. But you just did. Maybe I don't feel exactly the same way I did before. But if you still feel….something for me and you're ready to deal with it, then I can't just ignore it. I could, but I'm not that vengeful. I still want to see where that could go….just not in an immature way. If we go any further because of this, that's great. If not….then I know I can handle it better than two years ago. Because I have more to value than just you, and I'm starting to learn that that's good enough. Besides, even if I don't get you as a boyfriend…..keeping you as my best friend isn't so bad."_

"…"

"_Jeff?_"

"She was being that bitterly ironic, huh?" Abed asked Jeff as they each saw his body language falter on screen.

"Yep," Jeff sighed out as deeply as he did an hour ago at dinner. Maybe a little more so, since now he saw himself looking more crushed with guilt than fake Jeff ever was. In addition to feeling more crushed too.

"_I'm so sorry…..for everything."_

"_What?"_

But at least now they were getting to the part where Jeff recovered….somewhat.

"_How did you do it? How did you keep letting me off the hook again and again until now?"_

"_Oh, that. It's nothing, really….if I didn't forgive you guys for making me mad sometimes, I'd still be friendless."_

"_But I've made you mad in…..different ways than Britta and Pierce have."_

"_That's true, but the point still stands. Jeff, there are already too many people in my life I can't forgive. My parents, my high school bullies, Annie Kim, your dad for abandoning you….even that's too long a list for me. I can't add someone that I see every day, especially….well, you."_

"_But I've kept testing that, whether it was on purpose or not. You can't settle for….someone like that."_

"_I can settle for how you make up for it almost every time. Or for even when you don't see it, you actually feel regret when you figure it out. Or for how even when we can't figure out how we feel, we're always there for each other when we need to be….more than we've been for anyone our whole lives. I can live with the bad stuff if that's what we'd be like the rest of the time. And now that you're here, I still want to believe…..without going overboard about it….that it can be. The proof is that we're here now."_

"_Wow….you really don't say again….."_

"_Besides, it's not like I'm 100 percent blameless in every fight. Maybe I've been once or twice, or at least 99 percent in a couple others. Still, it takes two to fight and act out like a child and not know what we really want. But I'm learning what I want and I think I'm figuring out the right way to get it. And if you're really trying to do the same, then I want to help you, no matter what. But now I want to do it as an equal and not a naïve little girl….well, not as naïve, anyway."_

"_Annie….I haven't thought of myself as your equal for a long time, even before tonight. Now…."_

"_Huh….for a narcissist, you really have a low opinion of yourself. But it really shouldn't be that bad. If it should, then I wouldn't have liked you so much in any way.…even if you make me want to pull my hair out sometimes."_

"_Well, one bald nutcase at Greendale is bad enough."_

Both past and present Jeff cringed at how he undercut Annie's sincerity. But both of them got lifted up by her laugher and subsequent response.

"_Jeff, when you're at your best, you're the most amazing person I've ever met. Especially since you've overcome so many….many flaws to be wonderful anyway. When you're at your worst, you're only the sixth most awful person I've ever met….but now that Annie Kim knocked you from the top five, you look much better. That's the last of many good reasons why I still have faith in you….and best of all, now I'm ready to have faith in the real you and not some fantasy version. And I know if I can get past that romantic fantasy of you….you can get past the evil one you have of you."_

Jeff's ego had been built up more times than he could count – and then it was propped up by other people. Yet when Annie praised him like that –especially after tonight – it built him up more than 100 Winger speeches could. Or 200 Abed-Annie speeches.

And now the video showed physical proof of how uplifted he was as well. His body was far less tense, his shoulders were looser, and his posture was relaxed – not fake hipster relaxed – for the remainder of the dinner. Not to mention that he looked far more focused on Annie than he ever was on his phone. _That _he couldn't ignore even at his most oblivious.

Finally they came to the end, when Abed followed Jeff's final instructions to the letter. After Jeff and Annie left the table and could no longer be seen from the window, Abed turned off the camera, left the car and locked it again by hand before he closed the door. Then he went to the end of the parking lot and hid behind the bushes, just before Jeff and Annie got outside.

Back in the present, Abed's video was off and Jeff was starting to take it all in. But he was interrupted when more footage then started to show on the laptop. Apparently Abed got behind the bushes quick enough to turn the camera back on, and turn it on Jeff and Annie.

At that moment at the parking lot, Jeff didn't want to kiss Annie just to get it caught on tape, since he doubted Abed could get into position. But on the off chance he could, he wanted to see how the real Jeff looked kissing the real Annie on film. Well, that was just _one _reason why he wanted to do it.

The reason he gave Annie was that he wanted to get the good night kiss done now, so they could have a nice drive home and not worry about kissing on the way back. It was a reversal of a few old film clichés Abed told him about, he explained. Annie got it right away – and the results were now immortalized on film after all.

As Jeff saw his past self kiss Annie on video, he recalled the….light feeling he had when he actually did it. And he could read every bit of it in his body language during the clip. It made him more upset that he broke off after just three seconds, so he could drop Annie off, go home and see all this on Abed's video.

He also wanted to leave before Abed got caught at the last minute – yet Abed had seen too many romantic comedies to be that stupid. Once Jeff drove off, Abed took another cab and got to Jeff's apartment around the time that Jeff did. And now Jeff was watching his date video to see if it was as he remembered.

But did he really need it to tell him what he already knew? Sadly, he probably did need it even now. Yet now that he saw it, there was no getting around any of it.

If he only saw himself on this date without remembering how it made him feel, he would have mocked himself and thought he wasn't in his right mind. When he was on the date itself, he might have still been able to deny how it made him feel if he didn't_ see_ the proof. If the video just had Abed's Jeff and Annie reenactors, he could have still stayed in denial because it wasn't the real Jeff. But there was no more room for denial anymore.

Thanks to what Abed showed him today and what he filmed tonight….Jeff didn't want any room. He wanted more. He wanted Annie. And he wanted Annie to want him the same way again – and he even wanted to _work _to do it.

"Abed….you _are _a God," Jeff reinforced as Abed signed off the laptop. Yet as Abed cleaned up, Jeff just stayed lost in Annie world, still wishing he'd done more tonight. He'd been self conscious of being filmed, he barely forgot how he only decided to go at the last minute, he hardly said anything as meaningful as Annie did, they only kissed for three seconds, and he didn't even kiss her at her apartment door because he had to get home.

It wasn't enough. If he was _that_….affected by the little they _did_ do, then he wanted more. He wanted to do whatever it took to keep feeling and looking that way. And he wanted Annie to feel that way all the time again. Maybe enough to make sure Annie _didn't _cry in the end after all. Hell, why would he risk making her cry at any timeafter today and tonight?

Well, he _was_ fully committed to breaking her heart most of the day….while Annie was rebuilding it just enough to go out with him anyway. Because _he _inspired her to go on a date he never intended to go on until an hour to spare….

Yeah, _that _nagging hypocrisy wasn't going away.

Before Jeff knew it, he jumped onto his couch and took out his cell phone, getting Annie on speed dial right away. She answered before Jeff could really plan out what he'd say – and as such, he called out "I wasn't going to go, either!"

"Could I….hear that again, please?" Annie asked, while at least sounding more confused than angry. This let Jeff regroup and modify his confession a little bit. He may have taken some big steps today – but _full _honesty couldn't be allowed _quite _yet.

"I was nervous about the date too, and I was…entertaining thoughts about not going. Just like you were." Jeff figured he'd get more leeway if he brought up Annie's fears – leaving aside how much, _much _longer it took Jeff to get over his. Abed nodded his approval, since although Jeff had a radical change tonight, he was still in character by lying a _little._

"But like you….I changed my mind because I was inspired by someone. In this case, you," Jeff revealed, leaving out how it was another version of Annie that inspired him. Nevertheless, the message was still the same.

"After all the nonsense I put you through…..for whatever reason I had on a given week….you gave me one more chance. If_ you _could still have faith in me and let me prove myself again, it kind ruined all my other excuses." Eventually. "Now that we….did what we did, I don't want to look for any more." Okay, he wasn't as verbatim as Annie was with Abed-Annie's words, but it would probably do.

"Jeff….I wish I knew what to say…." Annie gasped out over the phone.

"All right, I'll fill in the gap while you keep looking," Jeff pressed, wanting to stay sincere while he was still on his biggest feelings bender to date….if it was as reductive as that.

"Thank you for inspiring me, Annie. You usually have….for longer than I'm still ready to admit. I just wished I….tried to show it more tonight, that's all."

"Well….if _that's_ half-ass Jeff Winger, I might never want you to wear pants again!" Annie jested.

"Somehow I doubt that'll be a problem for you," Jeff teased. Yet even though he had returned to sarcasm, he still had a bit left in his sincerity reservoir. "Look, I know you should wait three days to call for a second date….or at least I know for the purpose of this bit. But if I got it wrong, you can come over to my apartment tomorrow, right?"

"On a school night?" Annie squeaked. Jeff actually laughed that this was the first thing she thought of, even now. "No, I'll have you back by then. I meant for you to come over and spend the _afternoon_ with me. We can fit in everything we glossed over tonight, relax, watch movies….I even have cards too, if that's not a deal breaker."

"No, that's good, as long as we're alone. If I have to get clobbered by Abed when he's _not _counting cards one more time…." Annie groaned, to which Jeff tried not to laugh _too _knowingly. "I see how that can make you crazy. But I think we got all our craziness out tonight, so….can we be sane again tomorrow?"

"I'd like to try. All right, so it's a second date," Annie dared to bring up. Jeff reflected on how this was his last chance to back away – then stated, "Yeah, that's better than my names for it. I'll have to share some of those rejects with you tomorrow."

Now that Jeff's feelings bender was wearing off….kind of….he decided he should sign off now while he was still ahead. Yet he still fit in one last good line. "Okay, good night _again_, Annie. Thank you for….being such an amazing grownup. And not just tonight…."

"You're welcome, Jeff….I look forward to hearing those rejected names tomorrow. Good night," Annie got out in between holding back mild flutters.

Once she hung up, Jeff was glad she wasn't so excitable anymore that she strained her voice. But the thought that he really did enough to make her excited on _purpose_ nearly made him strain _his _voice. Yet he settled for leaning back on the couch, closing his eyes and biting back from smiling _too _big.

When he was composed enough to move, Jeff finally remembered that Abed was still in his house. Yet he was packing up his equipment and getting ready to go anyway. "So you're….done filming for the night?" Jeff checked.

"I have all the material I need. Now I can go home and sleep for more than 30 minutes tonight," Abed shared.

"Okay…." Jeff agreed, knowing he needed to say _something _more after the gift Abed gave him. "Abed….I, well….I think this is going to be your masterpiece. I don't know how you did it….not to mention _why _you did it!"

"Sometimes it's best to let the work speak for itself. Then you can trust the audience to figure the rest out themselves. If it's even relevant." On that bit of Abed logic, Jeff couldn't really argue. If the work spoke and kicked Jeff in the ass that much, the rest was secondary.

"All right, then I'm glad you trust me," Jeff shared, hoping Abed understood he was glad that he trusted him with more than that – namely Annie. But figuring out what Abed understood was always a sucker's game – although that wasn't so bad on some days.

In a rush to try and do something Abed would understand, Jeff tried – and failed miserably – to recreate the Trobed handshake. It took three failed tries to get the hand movements right – although Abed wasn't even using his – before Jeff ultimately gave up.

"Cool cool cool," Abed said anyway. "Now that there's been comic relief to balance out the sentimental ending, that's my cue to go," he announced as he opened the door and got all his stuff into the hallway.

"Abed?"Jeff asked while he could. "If you ever finish that movie of yours, maybe you could invite me to a _private _screening. Even if it has the mental breakdown scene in it."

"If it has an opening night, you'll be the first to know," Abed promised before closing the door. Of course, Abed left out that the mental breakdown scene hadn't been recorded on camera. Neither had the Abed-Annie scene either.

In fact, since Abed entered the apartment that morning, he hadn't turned the camera on or filmed anything that happened at all. Not until Jeff sent him to film his date, anyway. Abed didn't expect Jeff would actually ask him to film that – yet he was glad he was prepared for that too. The rest could be credited to the still fascinating new plot device called empathy.

But all these Easter Eggs could be saved until the Blu-Ray special edition box set came out.


	6. Epilogue

**Three weeks later, 11 a.m.**

One minute, Troy and Abed were in the study room going over tonight's Cougar Town vs Inspector Spacetime marathon contest. In the next, the unmistakable yelling of Britta, Shirley, Annie, Jeff and Pierce could be heard clear as day. Five seconds later, Troy and Abed saw them all storming into the room clear as day.

"All right you two, spill!" Britta directed at Troy and Abed. "How long did you know about…." she trailed off pointing to Jeff and Annie, then recovered to say, "And couldn't you have warned me before we saw them…." she trailed off one more time in disgust.

"Oh, quit trying to impress Jesus with your fake outrage!" Shirley stated. "When He gets here to smite them, you'll have to do better than that to avoid His leftover damnation! Then again, He might use so much on them that'll you'll get lucky – for now!"

"Shirley, before we get Raptured or whatever, need I remind you we were making out very slowly, with our clothes _on, _in that closet? And there's a very good reason for that!" Jeff tried to start, although he had nothing else after a few seconds.

But Annie stood beside him and broke in to say, "We're dating, okay? We're taking it slow, but we're dating now! And you caught us...in our first real make out session outside Jeff's house! Happy?"

"Three parts of me are, yes," Pierce chimed in. "They even got excited at a gay man and my surrogate daughter figure going at it! So who's got defective junk now, Vicki?"

"Oh Jeff, Annie, how could you?" Troy said in clearly rehearsed outrage. "I had no idea you were doing this….but if it's what you desire, who am I or anyone else to….to…..line?"

"Troy!" Annie groaned. "How could you forget the word interfere? We reviewed this after the group almost caught us on that lunch date at Subway!"

"Well, I'm sorry I'm not as good as my _rookie _screenwriter, Annie!" Troy protested.

"Okay, let's leave aside how _no one_ from Greendale is winning screenwriting Oscars today," Britta stated before turning to Annie. "Annie, I really hoped you'd have learned from my mistakes…."

"Well you make so many of them, like walking into an occupied supply closet. And not closing the door before we got a larger audience. I guess she can't keep track of what mistakes not to do," Jeff shot back.

"Jeff! Insults aren't going to make them understand," Annie pointed out. "I know you didn't want us found out yet. But now that they know we're trying to be together, we need to calmly explain that it's only _our_ business, and that we're learning how to be happy and good for each other."

"Well, you'll be good for each other in _one _place. Too bad your pointy horned landlord with a pitchfork can't afford air conditioning. At least not for a room with one adult and one child," Shirley hinted before she heard herself and cringed in guilt.

"Oh, _very _clever, judgy Mcjudge face!" Annie snapped. With that, any guilt Shirley had was gone, and soon Britta couldn't help getting into the war of words. Pierce kept bragging about his junk and trashing Vicky, while Jeff tried to casually check on his phone and tune out for his own safety – at least before Annie gave him a death glare.

With all that noise and with Troy still complaining about Annie's script, it was a wonder anything clear could be heard. But somehow, they all stopped when they heard Jeff say "I wasn't going to go, either!" –and realized that the Jeff standing in front of them didn't say it.

Finally, present day Jeff was the first to notice that during the chaos, Abed had pulled out his laptop and was playing a video. Not just any video – but one of Jeff calling Annie at the end of that infamous Saturday night. He assumed that Abed had stopped filming after dinner – but that crafty jackrabbit got in one last video instead?

"What's the hell? Is this you….when you were…?" Annie put together. Right, Annie had no idea that Abed ever set foot in Jeff's apartment that night. She certainly couldn't know he was in there that _day _either. But she was thankfully – at least thankfully so far – just focused on this scene, gasping, "Oh my God, your call!"

"Sssh!" Jeff got out, as he realized he actually needed the group to see this. After all, if Abed thought they needed to, they probably did.

The group actually quieted down to hear Jeff's heartfelt call to Annie after their date. Even Shirley let out two "Awwws" against her will as it went on. Britta didn't "Awww" but she did note, "What the hell is that look on your face? And that….not douchey body language? Does Abed have a camera that subtracts 10 douchey pounds or something?"

"No, that technology's still 20 years away," Abed corrected. "This is just a clip of Jeff calling Annie after their first date a month ago. I came by a few minutes before he called her and got it on my secret camera. And since it was secret, he didn't know I was filming him. But he was too focused on Annie to notice, or to recall that I was even there later," he stated, closing a few key loopholes in his story for the group.

Of course, he still left out how he pretended to film Jeff all day before that, _why _he filmed/pretended to film him, how he _actually _filmed him on his date with Annie – footage he erased before Jeff remembered to ask him – then turned the camera back on in time to film his phone call after screening the date video. Even Jeff didn't know that last part – but it's not like he could nitpick that much in public. Yet Annie had more room to do it.

"And why were you even there? You came home a half-hour after he called and said all your movie footage was ruined. That's what you _said_, anyway," Annie nitpicked as Jeff tried not to look suspiciously suspicious.

"That is true. After all my footage for my big movie got ruined that night, I needed something to distract me. So I went to get a glimpse of Jeff and Annie on their date. I probably should have led off with the secret clip I got of their kiss, but that wasn't noisy enough to start this scene." With that, Abed paused his video of the phone call and pulled up an excerpt of Jeff and Annie kissing in the parking lot.

"You filmed our private first couple kiss?" Jeff faked being outraged over, since he had to pretend he didn't know about _this_ video either. "Abed, how could-"

"Awww, I forgot how cute you looked after we kissed! It's so cute I don't want to kill Abed for spying on us….that much!" Annie squealed, as Jeff tried not to cough too nervously. To Jeff's additional shock, Shirley looked stunned as well.

"Jeffrey, I've never seen you look that vulnerable and….lovey dovey before." Jeff wasn't even _that _lovey dovey in that kiss, so he was amazed at how well they were taking this.

After the kiss video was done, Abed went back to the clip of Jeff calling Annie. When it got to the point where he asked her out for the next afternoon, Britta found an opening to protest again. "Ah ha, he's already trying to close the deal on his second date! Which is…..one more date than he usually takes."

"We haven't…._closed the deal_….at all!" Annie quasi-whispered. "We're still taking it slow, so this is taking him…..three more dates than usual so far! So….there."

"Ah, nice try, Jeff. You almost had me fooled, but you choked on your overwhelming-" Pierce started.

"Okay, DVD commentary over now!" Jeff declared. "You saw me being sincere, Abed explained his whereabouts, and I've convinced you I had no idea I was being filmed. I'm sure some other things incriminate me for wanting Annie as my girlfriend too. Are we done?"

It took Jeff two seconds to register _exactly _what he just said. When Annie registered it and gasped – slightly louder than everyone but Abed – Jeff's posture was all over the place.

"Oh my God, that's his look from the movie! The one where he's embarrassed but he's still in love, just like the phone call scene! Great call back, Abed!" Troy actually pointed out – of course he only recognized that through Abed's movies as well.

"I'm really your girlfriend?" Annie double checked. Jeff still looked uneasy – as much progress as he'd made since that night, he wasn't Mr. Romantic quite yet. He certainly wanted his first "G-word" talk with Annie to be…..somewhere other than this. Preferably with them all alone. But while Abed was here, Jeff could turn to him and ask, "You set this up because you knew I'd say that, didn't you?"

"No, that time you caught me by surprise. You weren't in line to have a define the relationship scene until the next season premiere. But there could be worse plot twists," Abed reminded him.

"Yeah….I guess there could be. There could have been some _really _stupid twists if a few things went differently….but I'm glad they didn't," Jeff directed at Annie. It was as close to knowingly saying "I love you" in public as Jeff would get at this point. But Annie let it slide, not wanting him to face more scrutiny from the group.

Yet that same group was looking moved….or as moved as they could pass for….as they saw Jeff hang up on screen and smile his lovey-dovey smile – or as lovey-dovey as it could pass for. Once again, Jeff was taken back at how…._in love _he looked on film, although it probably wasn't a new sight for a smiling Annie. But this clip was playing for a more skeptical audience too – or at least Jeff thought it'd be more skeptical.

"This is still sinful, it's got to be…..but it wasn't on Abed's camera. And _that _thing never lies!" Shirley conceded. "Okay, Jesus needs a while before He has a final ruling on this, okay?"

Britta rolled her eyes before Jeff and Annie turned to her for her ruling. Finally she just said, "I'll be quiet for now ….but my douche-dar is still on….moderate alert, Jeff. Moderate!"

"Just keep getting my team down there running in front of Vicky! Then you can bang and pretend Annie is Andrew all you want!" Pierce declared.

"Is that the kind of understanding you wanted, Annie?" Jeff inquired. "No, but I don't need them to try and top it for a while," Annie conceded.

The group hadn't given them their overwhelming approval quite yet. But Britta and Shirley wouldn't castrate Jeff for now, Jeff's sincerity was on film for the last time, and Jeff took baby steps towards admitting how he really felt in public. And since the storage closet making out was more romantic than graphic, Jeff and Annie had wiggle room to set Britta and Shirley straighter later on. Yet for now, just living through this and showing they _were _serious was the most ideal finale for today.

For the epilogue, Annie stayed behind after the afternoon study room session and got to Abed alone. "Abed, thanks for having our backs back there….despite the whole invading our privacy thing. I guess you've been saving that video for whenever me and Jeff got caught."

"I didn't think _this _would be our May sweeps cliffhanger, or that we'd resolve it before September. But no harm done. I'm sure we'll find another hook to keep up interest this summer," Abed assured.

"Is that why you filmed it?" Annie started. "I mean, I'm surprised you could film anything at all. You spent all Friday and Saturday filming some huge secret project alone. Then you come home Saturday and said the footage got ruined….something you're _way _too prepared to ever let happen. That should have _really _freaked you out! Instead you spend time filming me and Jeff kissing, and getting to Jeff just as he calls me….and _that _footage clearly didn't get ruined. Then I don't find out about you being there until today, from you _or _Jeff?"

"I suppose I was due for a special pratfall episode where nothing went as planned," Abed said with his usual inflection. But that didn't quite fool Annie.

"Abed….is there something else I should know about what you did that day?" she started. "About….what _Jeff _did that day?" she dared to ask. Abed was still for several unsettling moments before he answered her.

"It was nothing that didn't predictably work out in the end. And sometimes the ending really is better than the destination in these projects – even if it isn't obvious to everyone until the end. Especially when they're endings both fans _and _directors were hoping for. Now that everyone else has seen the logic in it, there's nothing left but to enjoy the rest of the franchise."

Annie got some parts, was moved by others and was lost by the rest. But if she translated Abed well enough, franchise meant long term, healthy, equal relationship with Jeff….and _that _was pretty good to focus on more. Especially after she heard _and _saw Jeff during that phone call – and heard some other things from him today.

If there was more to Jeff's last minute nerves….or how much of them Abed observed….it didn't change how it created this happy ending anyway. How Jeff created it….even if he didn't act alone.

"You're right, Abed, I will enjoy it. I'll enjoy it even more now, if that's possible. I'm glad I have such….great fans _and _directors to make that possible." Annie's attempt at Abed-speak was a little clumsy, but she thought that could buy her leeway before she went over to hug him.

"Thank you, Abed," Annie thanked for the help she knew he gave – and whatever help she didn't know about. Apparently it was enough of a trigger for Abed to pat her back – and even say, "Thank _you_, Annie." This made her tighten her hug deeper before she broke off with a bigger smile.

Annie went off with that smile, and Abed followed her until she got close to Jeff. He stopped and saw Annie peck Jeff on the lips – which she could do in public now – and Jeff even put his hand on her back in public too. His special Annie posture was showing in full force, so he was disguising his unease with PDA pretty well – if it was still there.

Abed watched them go around the corner together, thinking that Jeff's prediction from that night might just be right. This very special episode – and its aftermath – _was _his masterpiece.

At least until he finished editing his outer space romcom.

**THE END**


End file.
